Survival In Negative

by Life of Refusal

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




Releases 9/8/2016
First Pressing 300 Copies.
40 Clear Brown Vinyl (Blue Cut Fire)
90 Clear Yellow/Green Vinyl
170 Clear Black Vinyl

Pre-order available at


released September 8, 2016



all rights reserved


Life of Refusal Apple Valley, California


Southern California


contact / help

Contact Life of Refusal

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: In Loathe
The wounds I have inside my head that make me dance in time with death are why my fucking eyes only stare cold.
I recognize what they call right, apply it to my daily life, an empty heart that beats in perfect time.
Time won't mend.
I won't mend.
Time won't mend.
I won't fucking mend.
Telling me that I'm worth something only proves that I have failed you and did absolutely nothing to untie your wings and let you feel how true love feels away from me.
Track Name: Third
Priorities for you? They lie between home and half-way friends.
While there's matters at the hand that you refuse to tend.
Family third.
Classic case of blind leading the blind.
Tell me how to make this worth your time.
Make this worth your fucking time.
All my hopes and all my fears, make me question why I'm here.
All the stress and all your tears, are not worth the last ten years.
Track Name: Endeavored
Awake to a brand new day and I've lost another piece of me.
I see myself in a light that no one sees.
I'm losing faith in everything that I've found comfort in.
I've come to terms with the hate that lets me feel again.
Not a cry for help, just trying to make amends.
Everything I know, still standing on the edge.
All my self-control, hanging by a thread.
I tell you what you want, regretting every breath.
I've let myself get the best of me.
I know my best isn't much to see.
With a smile on this fucking face, I deteriorate and sink.
Track Name: Lines
Soiled eyes, your dead Christ.
No more faith, no more lies.
Let your god bleed for me.
I want Earth's penance paid with god's blood and divinity.
Faith, lies, your dead Christ.
Track Name: Lucid Fairytale (Napalm Death)
Originally by Napalm Death. From the 1988 album, "From Enslavement to Obliteration".
Track Name: Tongue Kept Firmly Between My Teeth
I try to see the brighter side.
But at the end of the day, all I realize is that there's nothing but sun burning out the backs of my eyes.
So tell me everything that I already know.
When you're pushing thirty, your last shot happened years ago.
The only difference now, is when you pick your head up no one is around.
When it fucking counts.
Track Name: Bleak
The air I breathe under my ribs has never meant a fucking thing.
Without this shit in front of me that you rip off religiously.
You may have everybody fooled but you are nothing new to see.
It's not hard to tell that you are not who you pretend to be.
Dead on sound.
Did your homework.
Dead on sound.
With no worth.
Keep your head held high knowing damn well you are a fluke.
You'll be the first to leave when your fashion statement's through.
Everyone will love you, they'll be sure to sign your band.
If this is what it takes, then I'll bite the fucking hand that feeds.
Fuck your band.
Fuck your life.
You're someone new every night.
And still, fuck you.
Track Name: Harvest
Progress lost chasing cause.
That in which you do not live.
Black, white, gay, straight, addict, edge: no lives matter.
Six decades of change, just to stay the same.
There's comfort in pure hate.
Erase the human race.
Love's accomplished more than hate ever did.
One of the key reasons why I've never accomplished shit.
My mistakes are made.
Oh, so clean the slate.
I start nothingness, which you can never take from me.
Track Name: To an End
Five years old, waking up on the floor.
Grandparents’ apartment, family of four.
Another opportunity lost...
Another search for a job...
Through this, you taught me what was right and what was wrong.
Now I'm a traitor in my own fucking skin.
Going home to a place I've never been.
Always had the strongest head and clearest heart.
I've found something but it's taking my last breath, contemplating pure regret, this world I see in blue and red, the words are there but nothing's left.

In the case of what I stole, for the sake of hearts kept whole, with the slightest scent of hell: this war is waged on myself.

I'm going home to a place I don't fit in.
This is a war that I was never meant to win.
Never meant to win.
Poison seeped far beyond reach.
I made a choice.
It was this or it was me.